It's The Most

Wonderful time of the year!!! <3
Sad that I won't get to come home again until like a week before Christmas, but I'm really happy that I got to be here to put up the tree and decorate it, and put up the lights, drink cocoa and cider and coffee, have family time, eat amazing food, play board games, watch movies, and give Thanks this Thanksgiving. Thank you Lord, for all these blessings.

Roots

My roots seem to be all over the place sometimes. Strong ones in Houston, where I was born, and a lot of my family lives. Very strong ones in Ennis, where my mom lives and I grew up (the longest time I ever lived anywhere was here, for 6 years). Some in San Antonio, where my grandparents live, some in Washington, where my aunt and uncle and cousins live. And some new, yet strong ones in Stephenville, which I instantly fell in love with the first time I saw it, because it whispered home to me. I have roots in family, in friendships, and in my relationship. <3
But my strongest, and deepest roots will always be in Him.
I love this verse.

"Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." -Ephesians 3:17-19

For awhile, I was scared to leave my home with my mom, to go live with my dad. And for another while, I was scared to leave my home with my dad to go back and live with my mom. And for a long while, I was scared to leave both. That's why I love it. HE makes His home in my heart. My roots grow down into God's love and keeps me strong. Even when my resolve about moving to Stephenville wavers, like it did this spring, His will didn't. Even when I miss home and my true family so bad my heart aches, His home is in my heart, and my roots are in Him, He keeps me strong, and I make it through till the next time I get to go home. He loves me so much. Sometimes, when I feel scared, or alone, I remind myself that He loves me. His love is so wide, He can love me here or there, and love me at the same time as my mom, who lives 2 hours away, and every person over the span of the world. His love is so long, it started before the beginning of time, and will go on forever and ever. His love is so high, it comes down from Heaven, and covers us all, wraps His arms around us. His love is so deep, so sincere, He sent His only Son to die in our place for our sins. That whosoever beieves in Him, would have everlasting life. It is hard for us to understand the depth and magnitude of Him, we can't wrap our minds around it, and we weren't meant to. But that doesn't mean we can't experience it and live in it. Let it complete you, in Him.

My roots are in Him. He makes His home in my heart.


                                         



Once Upon a Time

There was a princess... And she meets a prince. Or a man. And they have to go through some kind of test, or trial, or trouble. But in the end, if they truly love each other, it works out. And they live happily ever after.

"Suddenly he stops. He looks up for, lo, there she stands. The girl of his dreams." -Cinderella
"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale."
"But they say if you dream a thing more than once, it's sure to come true. And I've seen him many times." -Aurora
"Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme..." -Beauty and the Beast
"So this is love. So this is what makes life devine." -Cinderella
"And while cinderella and her prince did live happily ever after, the point is that they lived." -Cinderella
"A dream is a wish your heart makes."
"I made a wish, and you came true."
"I have found the one my heart loves."
"He was part of my dreams, of course. But then, I was part of his, too."
.

And even though this is "reality" there are still such things as fairy tales. We just call them love stories.
A couple who have been together since "before the flood."
A Mom and Dad, who become Grandma and Grandpa, then Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa.
A sweet elderly couple who can finish each other's sentences, complete the other's order, and never run out of things to talk about, without having the need to talk all the time.
A little boy and little girl who meet at a young age, grow up as friends, and one day, fall in love.
Two strangers who work together, or meet in a public place, and somehow, there is that instant connection, and BAM!, it's love.
God who created the whole universe, creating each two people to go together just perfectly, while knowing they weren't perfect, but He loved them so much, He'd send His son to die for each of them.

There are fairy tales, love stories, all around us. We just have to take the time to slow down, and appreciate the beauty in every relationship (romantic, family, and friends).
Don't dismay if you feel yours hasn't started yet. God's writing your love story, your fairy tale.
You're just still in the Once Upon A Time...

Quotes That Make Me Happy

Particularly, Nicholas Sparks, at least today. Or lately.
I love them. <3
Here's why:

• “So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.”
• “Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can.”
• “You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter.”
• “I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.”
• “Our love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it."
• “You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”
• “I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours."
• “Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more.”
• “When you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through.”
• “We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.”
• “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give you forever."
• “You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.”
• “And when her lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever.”
• “If you like her, if she makes you happy, and if you feel like you know her---then don't let her go.”
• “It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”
• “Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons. But when all is said and done, they have one thing in common: They are shooting stars-a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity. And in a flash, they're gone.”
• “They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”
• '“Every great love starts with a great story...”
• "He's the toast to her butter."
• “When people cared about each other, they always found a way to make it work.”
• “She would tell him what she wanted in her life--her hopes and dreams for the future--and he would listen intently and then promise to make it all come true. And the way he said it made her believe him, and she knew how much he meant to her.”
• “I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..”

Photography

Makes.
Me.
Happy.
I love it, I really, really do.
Here's some recent stuff.

My sweet, sweet Momma. I love her so much.

Playing with my Great-Grandma's marbles.

Me holding my best friend's baby boy William. She kept calling me "Auntie Michelle" and telling me that that's what he'd call me one day. Made my heart happy!

William Lane Coburn

My best friend Jessica, and her son William. Be still my heart!

Sweet momma feeding sweet baby. :)

He's soooo precious. Stole my heart.

My baby sister, growing up.

She's such a sweetheart. :)

Shaina Lynn. <3

Taylor Blake <3

Whatacutie. ;) She's like another sister to me. Love her.

Best. Friends.

Smile, baby sister! :) Courtney Saige.

Beautiful girls!

<3

My "little" sisters. :)

The Photographer's in the picture?!?! Me and my sisters. :)

Jump Taylor!

Jump Shaina!

:)

Sisters! <3

Shaina and MJ. <3

They are too stinking cute together. :)

Future bro-in-law. Yep.

<3

:)

"Did your foot pop, when he kissed you?"

"Yes."

"Then, it's love."

Gottem.

“Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it does.”

-Nicholas Sparks <3

I adoreeee this quote.

Lately, the devil was trying so hard to get me down and draw me away from the Lord.

But HA, no way ol' devil. Take that somewhere else.

Stop throwing your obstacles at me, because with God, I can jump all of them.

And I have. Everything that was bogging me down, worries that were plaguing my mind, are ALL GONE.

 I didn't think things could get any worse. A ticket, trouble with College Chemistry, just plain down.

But once I started looking at the good things in life, I realized that those things were within God's control to fix, to change. So after praying, I felt enabled. I tackled those worries and problems, and took them down. BOOM. Gottem.

And now, I doubt things could get ANY better. Things are just going so good, and everything's falling back into place.

It's amazing how when you just take everything to God, start looking at the positive things in life, and taking charge in a positive Godly way, things get so much better.

I just don't think things could get any better, but on second thought, it can/will/is.

Sometimes...

You just gotta say you're sorry.
It's as simple, and as difficult as that.
Why is it that we find it so hard to just apologize and rectify the situations at hand? It's hard, I admit, sometimes, because we think we're right, and they're wrong.
But here's the thing. We're BOTH wrong if we continue to let things go on the way they do, without apologizing. Without forgiving.
"Apologizing doesn't always mean that you're wrong and the other person is right. Sometimes it means that you value your relationship more than your ego."
So I'm apologizing. You know who you are. I know you read these sometimes.There's more than one person I'm addressing this to. To the people I've needed to, but haven't apologized to.
But to you, specifically, I sent you a message, and you never replied. So I'll humble myself a little further, and publicly say it.
I'm sorry. Wholeheartedly, sincerely, completely sorry. I only wish for forgiveness, and for us to start repairing the damage.
I'm sorry for being a little blind.
I'm sorry for holding a grudge.
I'm sorry for not forgiving.
I'm sorry for not doing this before now.
I'm sorry for being such a little person.
I'm sorry for not being there.
I'm sorry for not listening enough.
I'm sorry for not giving you the advice I knew was meant for you.
I'm sorry for not saying I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for not doing it sooner.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not on some pity trip, I'm not out to get attention, or to start anything.
I simply wanted you, yes, you, to know that I am really sorry.

Search My Heart

I love the thought of God searching our hearts. He knows them. Inside and out, knows our hearts. The good, the bad, the ugly... He loves us anyways. He wants the best for us, He wants what He has planned for us, not what the old devil tries to trick us into thinking will makes us happy, or content.
The only true happiness and contentness comes from being in His will.
He searches our hearts. He knows us.
I love that God knows me better than I know myself.

Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

Jeremiah 29:13: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart."
Luke 12:34: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I love that God knows my heart. He knows it better than I do.
He knows what we need, what we want, what we desire.
He also has a plan for us, a will for our lives. Perfect, true, wonderful.

Search my heart, O' Lord. You know me inside and out. You made me, and You alone know the plans that You have for me. Make my ways straight and true. Make my ways Yours. Make my will, Yours. I love you, Lord.

Search my heart.

Psalms 51

"How many times should we ask for forgiveness?" "What things should we ask for forgiveness for?" "Why do we need to ask for forgiveness?" "Why do I keep sinning, even though I'm saved?"

These questions were all on a forum, and as I read them, my heart broke a little. For the saved, but confused. We've all been there at one time or another. What we were taught growing up conflicts with what we read in the Bible, or what someone told us in Sunday School now applies a little differently as adults, or young adults. It happens to me sometimes, but I know to seek out the answers in the Bible, and from God.
So, when I saw that these people were struggling with the topic of forgiveness, that's the first place I went. To God. I asked Him, Lord, am I to answer their questions? hoping He'd say no, so I could go to sleep, and then I just felt that I was supposed to get up and go read Psalms 51. Okay, Lord, I'll look it up. And I did. I suggested it to them, and one girl emailed back - "That's perfect. God's word is always true and right. Thanks for sharing that, it cleared up so many questions."

I think, no, I know, that God wanted me to read it too. Not just wanted, but needed me to read it. I needed to read and understand it.

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love; according to Your great compassion, blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight; so You are right in Your verdict and justified when You judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Yet You desired faithfulness even in the womb; You taught me wisdom in that secret place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones You have crushed rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." -Psalms 51:1-12

God, have mercy on me. I love that. I love praying that, when my heart just cries it out without my mind really having to think it. According to His unfailing love and great compassion, blot out my transgressions. Forgive my sins, Father. Wash them away, cast them as far as the East is from the West, cleanse me and my soul, fogive me of my sins, Abba, though I am not worthy. I beg, I plead, I ask, I beseech, I get down on my face before You.  I know my sins, I am convicted of them, I know that I have sinned against You, and done what is evil in Your sight. You are right, and true in Your role as High Judge, the only Judge. I was born into a sinful world, born into sin myself, but You've always wanted more for me. You wanted faithfulness from the beginning, and You taught me from a young age. I have strayed, like the prodigal son, but I'm coming back to the heart of You. Cleanse me, Lord. Make me new, and white as snow through the blood of Jesus. It is only becaues of Him that I can be forgiven. And I'm thankful everyday for Him. Create in me a pure heart, Jesus, renew the spirit within me. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Restore me.

I love Psalms 51. I've been going through it the past few days. Parts of it play throughout my mind most of the day, and I offer up a little prayer each time.

The best part is, even though we sin, purposefully or not, we need not to be constantly asking for forgiveness, because Jesus died for sins past, present, and future. When we accept Christ, He forgives all of our sins. But, if He convicts you, like He's done me, to let Him break your heart over the sin in your life, to remind you that you are a sinner saved by grace through faith, let Him. Let Him get you flat on your face, praying for forgiveness. Because when you do, it will change things.
It'll change the way you act, think, talk, pray, live.
He's amazing, in all of His wonderful ways.
His unfailing love and great compassion amazes me.

Mondays

will be the death of me.
If it's not one thing, it's another. And it's frustrating sometimes. I'm not perfect. I get frustrated, confused, upset, angry, sad, hurt, and sometimes all of the above, all at once.
So and so said this. So and so did that. So and so is trying to do that. So and so isn't being nice. Etc., etc. I could list them all, but the things that people around me are doing that (granted, I'm allowing them to do) are affecting me, are petty. They are small and insignificant. I won't allow the devil to get a foothold in my heart through these things. Because if I sit here, and allow myself to seeth, grow more and more angry, or upset, or hurt, then the devil gets that part. He can use that, and make it grow. Make it bigger than it really is. Make it more important. Then, I'm focusing on those things, the things that don't matter, rather than the things that DO matter. God's wonderful and perfect things? Or Satan's dark and harmful things? It sounds like an easy choice. And yet... Our minds and hearts so often dwell on the drama, on the problems, on the troubles, on the worries.
Not today. Not now. NOW is God's time. From now on. Turn it over to Him. Get on your knees, (on your face before Him if need be) and lay it all at His feet. That means to imagine your problem, worry, etc. in a bag, and dropping it off, and walking away. He'll take care of you, and your troubles. And everytime it comes to your mind, pray about it. Give it to Him. Over and over, until you find that you are no longer burdened by it. We were not made to be pack mules. Give your troubles and worries and problems over to Him, and experience a sense of freedom in the hedge of His protection. And then, give thanks. For that fact that He is there, that He has given us another day to live, that He gives us things in our lives to make us happy, that He loves us so much, enough to send His Son to die for us. How often lately have we stopped, dropped our probelms at His feet, and looked around at all He has blessed us with? And then thanked Him for it?
Not often enough, on my part.
Lord, I thank you. I'm so grateful. More than grateful.

For storm clouds, that paint a beautiful, breath-taking picture in the sky.

For much much needed rain, however small or large the amount. Still grateful. (Also, the smell of rain. Lovely.)

For boys with big muscles, and even bigger hearts, who always try to keep everyone they know safe and happy.

For men who aren't afraid to step up and be the dads their kids need them to be, and tell their kids that they love them. (And take pictures with them.)

For sisters who STILL let you borrow their shoes. :)

For the sweetest mommas, who let you call them every single day even though they're busy, and are constantly praying for their kids, home and far away. For mommas whose hugs and kisses are medicine. For mommas who tell their kids they love them. (And take pictures with them.)

For reminders of God's promises. (And beautiful places to live and go to school.)

For animals of God's creation, sweet and loving.

For not just one, but TWO places to call home.

God, I am more than grateful. More than thankful. I'm counting all the blessings and gifts, but I know that they are truly innumerable. I love you, Lord. Keep alive the fire within me, please I beg you. Let me be a light. Break me, empty me out, build me up, fill me up, and use me.

I love you, Lord.

"Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you, and insult you, and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of God. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in Heaven." -Luke 6:22-23 <3

"Create in me a pure heart, O' God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence, or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." -Psalms 51:10-12 <3