I love you, Lord. ♥

I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. -Psalms 18:1-2 ♥

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. - Mark 12:30 ♥

After all that He has done for us, how could we not? ♥ 

He Calls Me Lovely

He calls ME lovely??
Me. A sinner. A still-awkward-even-though-I-should-have-outgrown-it-by-now-18-year-old-girl. Not perfect, not even close. I mess up daily. Trust me. But, Jesus loves me. He died for me, so that my sins would be forgiven, and I wouldn't have to be separated from Him for eternity, as long as I believed in who He was, and what He did, and accepted Him into my heart.
He loves me. Me... I just think to myself sometimes "I'm God's child. I am a child of God. And He loves me." and I am amazed.
Even though, I have flaws, imperfections, sins... The Creator of the Universe listens to me, speaks to my heart, walks with me daily, and thinks, despite of everything, that I am lovely.
Me. I don't deserve it.
But oh, how I love Him. And oh, how He loves us. All of us. He calls us lovely.
Lovely, inside and out, because He forgave our sins, our imperfections, our flaws, when His Son died on the cross.
LOVE-ly. He loves us, and thinks we're lovely.
Jesus, I love you too. Thank you. I'm forever grateful, and forever yours.

The Silver Lining.

"Remember, no matter how dark it seems, every cloud has a silver lining."
I took this picture yesterday, on my phone, (an oldddd iPhone, sorry for the quality) as soon as I pulled up to church because I saw it. I saw this "silver lining" around this dark cloud. I didn't see how much it applied to what was going on in my life until later.
My heart's been absolutely hurting lately. The tears won't stop sometimes. I feel alone, until I'm reminded that God is there, and my family, and some friends. So, why do I still feel this hurt?
 But:
Did you ever walk up to a group or a couple of people, and KNOW that they were talking about you? Because of the hush, or whatever?
Did you ever feel sad as you walk in a room, and only a few people say hello?
Did you ever feel left out, because your friends only wanted you around sometimes, and not other times?
Did you ever feel like you've lost your friends, and had no idea what you did, but continued to apologize, because you just want that friendship back?
Did you ever apologize for something, and was greeted with not an acceptance, but a hurtful comment?
Did you ever cry yourself to sleep, because one, or all of these things happened in one day?
So:
Why do we treat our friends this way? Why do we judge, hold grudges, become selective about which friends we want around at which times, or which ones we talk to, and which ones we don't? Why do we say, "We need to pray for this person because..." and continue to gossip, rather than just leave it at that? Why do we only say hello to the people we "like" at that moment? Why do we not notice when people around us are hurting because of our actions? I know I'm not perfect. I've done some of these things. And much as the guilt hits and hurts, it hurts SO much also, to be on the other end of it.
But God is sufficient. More than sufficient. His grace is amazing. He is my rock, my shelter, my stronghold, my hiding place. He's given me my best friend to lean on and pray with, family who listens, supports, and help me, and an amazing lady, who's always ready to listen, pray, and help in any way.
Well:
 Some that helped...

• The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18 

• We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair ... - 2 Corinthians 4:8 :)

• Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. - Psalm 23:4 :)
  

• The LORD Your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. - Deuteronomy 31:6

• I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow.  - Jeremiah 31:13

• Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:28-30

• Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you. - 1 Peter 5:7

And: He's amazing. I just have to keep praying. Trust that these things will work out and be okay again. That I won't lose years-long friendship over reasons unknown to me. That I can spot when I do things that hurt others, and for the Holy Spirit to testify with mine, that I may fix anything I've done wrong. That I may apologize for any wrongs I have committed against friends, and brothers and sisters in Christ. That others may come to the same realization that we shouldn't let the devil get a foothold and drive a wedge in-between our friendships. Praying for them continuously. Praying for me, too. Wisdom. The right words. The right timing.
Back to:
That picture, those problems my dark cloud right now.
The silver lining? I'm growing closer to God, as I depend on Him more and more to fill that sorrow with joy. I'm growing closer to a special lady, as I share my hurt, and receive advice, and prayers. I'm growing closer to my sister, who is younger, but has always been the one to protect me and our other sister. I'm growing. That's my silver lining. :) It's much prettier to look at than the dark cloud, but without the dark cloud, there would have been no silver lining.

To Save A Life

We watched the movie To Save A Life last night at church. It really touched my heart. Well, actually it punched it. Touched is too gentle of a word.
The movie summary is this: Two young boys are best friends growing up, and one day, while walking down their road, one of them, Jake, is about to be hit by a car, when the other, Roger, heroically pushes him out of the way and takes his place. Roger is left with a crippled leg, and a limp, while Jake goes on to be soccer star as a kid, then big shot basketball star in high school. He starts to blow off Roger for parties and his girlfriend Amy, in their freshman year of high school. Fast forward to senior year. Roger and Jake don't ever talk. Jake never ever stands up for Roger when he sees people picking on Roger, for the very act that caused Roger to be crippled. The very act that saved his life. Roger comes to school with a gun. Shoots 3 holes in the ceiling. Jake goes to him and tries to talk to him. Roger shoots himself... Jake goes to the funeral. The pastor notices him, and comes up to him after Jake wins the last basketball game of the season. Gives him his card. Jake goes to party with his girlfriend. Gets drunk. Cops come. His girlfriend steals his truck. His friends ditch him, and he calls the pastor Chris for a ride. The next morning, he goes to church, and joins in Chris' youth group. Jake begins to change. Amy leaves him, saying he's "acting weird." Meanwhile, he is saved, and baptized, with his big youth group, full of friends nearby. They sit together at lunch, hang out, and become close. He makes good friends with a guy named Jonny, who cuts himself, and was close to Roger before he passed. Then, his parents, with their unstable relationship, decide to get a divorce. Amy tells him she is pregnant, and plans to abort the baby. He goes to Chris to talk, and the preacher of the church's son, (who also smokes marijuana) overhears. He spreads the rumors all over school.  Jake becomes angry at God, and his youth friends, and blows off Jonny. He starts to realize he made mistakes, and talks Amy out of the abortion. They both begin to go to church, and decide on an open adoption with a couple that Chris recommends. The youth group begins to come together to support him, and his mom, at peace after the divorce, supports his decision to wait until the baby is born to go to his dream school, University of Louisville. Jonny won't answer calls, or texts, or anyone coming to his house. The head preacher's son bumps into him at school one day, and Jonny drops his phone. The kid picks it up, and makes a call to the police, saying there is a bomb threat. When police arrive all the kids are escorted out of the building, and the kid shows them pictures in Jonny's locker that Jonny drew, twisting their opinion to think that Jonny did it. Jake sees that Jonny is back at school as the cops are taking him away. He calls Jonny's phone and the head preacher's son answers it. Jake risks it all to run after the cop car, and prove that Jonny is innocent. He gets to it, just in time, as Jonny was about to overdose in the back of the car. Jake goes to the police station, where they took the kid responsible in. The kid who judged him, tried to ruin his girlfriend, and messed with his friends' heads. He sits with him, and talks to him. Talks Jesus to him, until his dad comes. The baby is born, and given to the couple in an open adoption. Jonny comes to Jesus, as well as the preacher's son, who before, was just wearing a "mask", acting like a Christian. Amy comes to Jesus as well, and Jake finally reconciles with his dad, as he heads to the University of Louisville.
Because of Roger's death, Jake learned a lot, and changed a lot. And many peoples lives' were affected and changed by these changes. Like a ripple effect.








There is song by The Fray called "How To Save A Life"
Here are some lyrics.
"Step one, you say we need to talk.
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk...
And  I pray to God he hears you.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life."

How many times have we judged somebody? How many times have we looked at someone and gone, "Nope, not talking to them." Or made fun of someone for no reason, other than to make ourselves feel better. Or, SAW someone get picked one, HEARD them get made fun of, and done nothing?
How many times have we heard or seen in someone's eyes, them crying, calling out for help, and we didn't do anything?...
How many friends of ours have gotten "good" at hiding how they really feel?

I have a friend. Not saying names. But I can tell their story.
They were bullied. Picked on. Hurt by people they didn't even know, for reasons also unknown. Just. Because. They. Could. This person's self-esteem was virtually destroyed. Why? So these people would feel better about themselves. I doubt they even remember my friend. They don't know the effects I still see. I would have transfered schools for this person. Stood up for them. Walked with them to every single class. If I'd have only known. But I didn't. I didn't ask. I didn't notice the signs. Didn't know they were depressed. They're getting better. I see more smiles everyday... I just wonder if I couldn't have helped them sooner. Saved them from the damage.


Didn't know any of this!

•  An estimated 80% of all those who commit suicide give some warning of their intentions or mention their feelings to a friend or family member.

• 70% of suicides occur between the hours of 3 p.m. to midnight (when they could be saved).

• For every completed suicide there are an estimated 30 to 50 attempts.

• About 20 percent of teens will experience teen depression before they reach adulthood. 

• Most teens with depression will suffer from more than one episode. 20 to 40 percent will have more than one episode within two years, and 70 percent will have more than one episode before adulthood. Episodes of teen depression generally last about 8 months.

Didn't know this either...
What to look for:

• sadness or hopelessness
• irritability, anger, hostility
• tearfulness or frequent crying
• withdrawal from friends or family
• loss of interest in activites
• changes in eating and sleeping habits
• restlessness and agitation 
• feelings of worthlessness or guilt 
• lack of enthusiasm or motivation
• fatigue or lack of energy
• difficulty concentrating
• thoughts of death or suicide

We've got to be a light in the dark. We've got to reach out, and talk to friends. Don't judge, that's not our job! Our job is this: Keep an eye on them. Stand up for them, and show them they aren't alone, and we love them! We can do this. We don't want to say, "If I had known.." Pray for them. Pray for God to show us the ones we should be looking out for. Let's share Jesus with everyone! Show Him to them in our actions, our words, our hearts, our eyes, our love for them. Jesus saves! Lay them at His feet. Be there for them, night and day. Listen to them and to Christ, and He will use you and give you the words.

National Hopeline Network: 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE)
National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK)
My number: 972-825-6276