Little Light

I wrote in my journal, not too long ago, that one light in a dark place can change everything. And it can.
John 8, verse 12 says, "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'"
Jesus came to this earth, full of sinners (aka a dark place) and brought light to it. Brought hope of salvation, brought hope of a new and better life than the one we humans were living.

He gave us some of that light. By giving us free will, and allowing us to choose whether or not to accept Him, (and I mean, why wouldn't you want to? He died for your sins, so you could live eternally in Heaven) He also gave us the gift of having Him in our hearts. Which leads to one of my favorite verses in Matthew.
Matthew 5, starting at verse 14, says, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hilltop cannot be hidden,. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven."
SO once you've accepted Jesus as your Savior, and invited Him into your heart, you too are a light. A light to others around you. Your words and your actions are your light. You shouldn't hide that you are a child of God. You shouldn't put your light "under a bowl" when you want to, and take it back out when you want. We should always "shine our light" before others, so that they see something different in us, something that they will want and yearn for. That's one way to help others come to know Christ.
Like the song says, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."

Angel Baby

So, not too many people know about my angel baby. It's been a long time since I've posted on here. I didn't want to, and couldn't really think of the words to say. There weren't any, really.

I found out I was pregnant December 6, 2011, at 4 weeks, 6 days. It took 3 digital tests, and a non-digital before I'd believe my own eyes. (Third test not shown here, obviously.) I waited 6 days after I missed it, because I was irregular. Until the morning (all day) sickness started, the sore breasts, and well, you get the picture.
I was in shock, trying to figure out how to tell everyone. and decided not to for a couple of days, to figure out options and what not. By the end of the week, my parents knew, his parents knew, and well, so did most of our families. But, we were workng on things. I was attending a state university, and knew it would be easier to come home and go to a community college. His mom went with me to have another test done, and sure enough, I was definitely pregnant. Just like with the tests I'd done myself, not only did it say pregnant, it was positive veryyy quickly. (By then, I was 5 weeks, 2 days.)  I drove home the day finals ended, and met Momma up at the college she works at for lunch. We hugged, cried a little, talked a LOT. We went back up to the school that week to pack up all my stuff and move me home. We also kind of went window shopping for cribs and what-not, just looking, and bought a little pig piggy-bank. Mom and I started looking at lots of names, trying to pick one out. My heart was set on Kaylee for a little girl, and Benjamin for a boy. I kind of got to hear the baby's heartbeat, just once, really faint. Then. just a week later, at 6 weeks, 2 days, I was sitting on the couch, and felt something bad, unusual. My heart and stomach dropped before I even saw it. I knew. Mom and I went to the hospital. There was really nothing they could do, except give me pain medicine, and send me home. Threatened miscarriage. The next 3 days were hell on earth. I had to watch the baby that had been growing inside me, pass through me. And I saw everyyyything. I didn't stop crying the whole time. There was something a little unsual though, and I told them that when I went to the doctor. He said yes, I had had a complete miscarriage, but my hcg levels were still a little higher than they should have been by that point. I told him what I had seen, and he told me he suspected that I had been carrying twins.. Talk about heartbreak. But, there was no way to know for sure.
I went through kind of a down time. I was depressed for awhile. Crying in the shower, at night, when I was alone. The baby's biological father and I broke up, I realized I didn't love him, and I ended things.
I didn't know what to do anymore. The past few weeks, I had been adjusting myself to become a mom, and doing things to get ready for that. I decided to stay close to home, and go to school here, and a week or two after I lost the baby, I found this quote.

I loved it. It just gave me peace to know that my baby was in Heaven now, with the angels, and Jesus, and God. Someone told me they were praying for me and my "angel baby" and that's what I've been saying ever since.
"Now I lay you down to sleep, I pray the Lord your soul to keep. With His arms, He'll hold you real tight, my angel baby, my guiding light."
"Gone yet not forgetten,although we are apart, your spirit lives within me, forever in my heart."
"Sometimes love is for a moment. Sometimes love is for a lifetime. Sometimes a moment is a lifetime."

My prayer is this:
"Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my baby on my lap and tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me? Tell them that I love them, Lord, and I'm looking forward to the day when I get to meet them at Heaven's gate. Tell them Mommy loves them, and give my baby a kiss. Tell them that I think about them all the time, and how I know deep down, they're better off in Your arms than mine."

12/17/2011 - Rest with Jesus, baby. Mommy loves you very much.

It's The Most

Wonderful time of the year!!! <3
Sad that I won't get to come home again until like a week before Christmas, but I'm really happy that I got to be here to put up the tree and decorate it, and put up the lights, drink cocoa and cider and coffee, have family time, eat amazing food, play board games, watch movies, and give Thanks this Thanksgiving. Thank you Lord, for all these blessings.

Roots

My roots seem to be all over the place sometimes. Strong ones in Houston, where I was born, and a lot of my family lives. Very strong ones in Ennis, where my mom lives and I grew up (the longest time I ever lived anywhere was here, for 6 years). Some in San Antonio, where my grandparents live, some in Washington, where my aunt and uncle and cousins live. And some new, yet strong ones in Stephenville, which I instantly fell in love with the first time I saw it, because it whispered home to me. I have roots in family, in friendships, and in my relationship. <3
But my strongest, and deepest roots will always be in Him.
I love this verse.

"Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." -Ephesians 3:17-19

For awhile, I was scared to leave my home with my mom, to go live with my dad. And for another while, I was scared to leave my home with my dad to go back and live with my mom. And for a long while, I was scared to leave both. That's why I love it. HE makes His home in my heart. My roots grow down into God's love and keeps me strong. Even when my resolve about moving to Stephenville wavers, like it did this spring, His will didn't. Even when I miss home and my true family so bad my heart aches, His home is in my heart, and my roots are in Him, He keeps me strong, and I make it through till the next time I get to go home. He loves me so much. Sometimes, when I feel scared, or alone, I remind myself that He loves me. His love is so wide, He can love me here or there, and love me at the same time as my mom, who lives 2 hours away, and every person over the span of the world. His love is so long, it started before the beginning of time, and will go on forever and ever. His love is so high, it comes down from Heaven, and covers us all, wraps His arms around us. His love is so deep, so sincere, He sent His only Son to die in our place for our sins. That whosoever beieves in Him, would have everlasting life. It is hard for us to understand the depth and magnitude of Him, we can't wrap our minds around it, and we weren't meant to. But that doesn't mean we can't experience it and live in it. Let it complete you, in Him.

My roots are in Him. He makes His home in my heart.


                                         



Once Upon a Time

There was a princess... And she meets a prince. Or a man. And they have to go through some kind of test, or trial, or trouble. But in the end, if they truly love each other, it works out. And they live happily ever after.

"Suddenly he stops. He looks up for, lo, there she stands. The girl of his dreams." -Cinderella
"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale."
"But they say if you dream a thing more than once, it's sure to come true. And I've seen him many times." -Aurora
"Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme..." -Beauty and the Beast
"So this is love. So this is what makes life devine." -Cinderella
"And while cinderella and her prince did live happily ever after, the point is that they lived." -Cinderella
"A dream is a wish your heart makes."
"I made a wish, and you came true."
"I have found the one my heart loves."
"He was part of my dreams, of course. But then, I was part of his, too."
.

And even though this is "reality" there are still such things as fairy tales. We just call them love stories.
A couple who have been together since "before the flood."
A Mom and Dad, who become Grandma and Grandpa, then Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa.
A sweet elderly couple who can finish each other's sentences, complete the other's order, and never run out of things to talk about, without having the need to talk all the time.
A little boy and little girl who meet at a young age, grow up as friends, and one day, fall in love.
Two strangers who work together, or meet in a public place, and somehow, there is that instant connection, and BAM!, it's love.
God who created the whole universe, creating each two people to go together just perfectly, while knowing they weren't perfect, but He loved them so much, He'd send His son to die for each of them.

There are fairy tales, love stories, all around us. We just have to take the time to slow down, and appreciate the beauty in every relationship (romantic, family, and friends).
Don't dismay if you feel yours hasn't started yet. God's writing your love story, your fairy tale.
You're just still in the Once Upon A Time...

Quotes That Make Me Happy

Particularly, Nicholas Sparks, at least today. Or lately.
I love them. <3
Here's why:

• “So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.”
• “Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can.”
• “You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter.”
• “I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.”
• “Our love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it."
• “You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”
• “I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours."
• “Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more.”
• “When you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through.”
• “We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.”
• “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give you forever."
• “You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.”
• “And when her lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever.”
• “If you like her, if she makes you happy, and if you feel like you know her---then don't let her go.”
• “It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”
• “Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons. But when all is said and done, they have one thing in common: They are shooting stars-a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity. And in a flash, they're gone.”
• “They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”
• '“Every great love starts with a great story...”
• "He's the toast to her butter."
• “When people cared about each other, they always found a way to make it work.”
• “She would tell him what she wanted in her life--her hopes and dreams for the future--and he would listen intently and then promise to make it all come true. And the way he said it made her believe him, and she knew how much he meant to her.”
• “I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..”

Photography

Makes.
Me.
Happy.
I love it, I really, really do.
Here's some recent stuff.

My sweet, sweet Momma. I love her so much.

Playing with my Great-Grandma's marbles.

Me holding my best friend's baby boy William. She kept calling me "Auntie Michelle" and telling me that that's what he'd call me one day. Made my heart happy!

William Lane Coburn

My best friend Jessica, and her son William. Be still my heart!

Sweet momma feeding sweet baby. :)

He's soooo precious. Stole my heart.

My baby sister, growing up.

She's such a sweetheart. :)

Shaina Lynn. <3

Taylor Blake <3

Whatacutie. ;) She's like another sister to me. Love her.

Best. Friends.

Smile, baby sister! :) Courtney Saige.

Beautiful girls!

<3

My "little" sisters. :)

The Photographer's in the picture?!?! Me and my sisters. :)

Jump Taylor!

Jump Shaina!

:)

Sisters! <3

Shaina and MJ. <3

They are too stinking cute together. :)

Future bro-in-law. Yep.

<3

:)

"Did your foot pop, when he kissed you?"

"Yes."

"Then, it's love."